bystander behavior...

Last weekend, I had an experience that I was so happy to witness.

But before I recount it, let me give a little history:

I've been reading an extraordinary new book by Caltha Crowe, called How to Bullyproof Your Classroom.  Not only is it a wonderful resource for teachers about the definition of bullying behaviors (and gateway behaviors), but it also provides proactive strategies for use in setting up one's classroom community, as well as lessons (with wonderful children's literature) to use with K-2nd grade students, and 3rd-5th grade students.

Her book is well researched and one of the points that really stood out for me was that much of the anti-bullying work that's been done up until now was teaching the person experiencing bullying behavior how to stand up for oneself, but that that is not always possible -- or even safe -- for someone to do.  Instead, it focuses on the bystanders, on building community where children use empathy, on what people can do when they witness bullying behavior.

I've already used one of the lessons with my first graders, and we're really investigating and discussing what it means to be kind: what it feels like, what it sounds like, what it looks like.

It is very much on my mind these days.

Last weekend, I was at Target with my daughter (trying very hard not to buy every adorable onesie that I saw) and saw some teenaged boys hanging out, talking, and laughing across the way from us in the sporting goods aisle.

One of the boys called another's name, then tossed a basketball pretty hard toward him.  It missed him completely and almost hit a woman in a wheelchair who was passing by.  The teenager who threw the ball saw what happened and took off.

The woman called out to him angrily, wondering why he would leave and not apologize.

But one of the boy's friends called him back, "You apologize, you idiot!"

It took several long seconds, but the teenager did come back, went to the woman, and apologized.  She accepted his apology and went on, and he went back to his friends.

He was laughing nervously and explaining to his friends that it surprised him and that's why he ran.

But one of his friends said, "Dude. You're a dick.  You don't do something like that and take off."

The others echoed that: "You are a dick."

I stood there, happy beyond words.  I was so glad that his friends had called him on that incident.  It very easily could have become a situation that escalated, or his friends could have laughed along with him and taken off, but at least one of them didn't.  He recognized the situation for what it was, and called him back.  (also, I apologize for the language used, but it's authentic, and I think it really illustrates the power that friends and bystanders have)

As I stood there, I thought: "this is what I want for my daughter.  As she gets older I want her to be able to recognize behavior that is not okay, and say something about it to her friends.  Similarly, I want her friends to do the same for her if her behavior is not okay."

More than anything, I wanted to go talk to those boys.  I wanted to tell them that I noticed.  That I appreciated it.  That that is the kind of behavior I think we need more of in the world.  But I couldn't think of how to approach them in a way that wouldn't seem corny, or trite, but instead would really just reinforce what they'd already done.  By the time I said, "just get over yourself and go say something!" they'd already moved on and I didn't see them anywhere.

Lesson learned.  

When I see something like that, probably the most important thing is that I do say something, even if it's not as eloquent as I might like it to be.

And to any teenagers out there reading... if that was you?  I think what you did was pretty awesome.  Keep it up.

general inspiration...

Apparently I'm not quite done linking back to a quote that inspires me. I keep finding more and more ways in which it's good advice for not only writing, but for teaching in general. I'm starting to wonder if it's not an appropriate metaphor for my view of teaching with my students.

For years I've been a very strong believer in the Responsive Classroom approach. It fits so well within my philosophy of education -- in the way I think about children and teaching -- that it's really only natural that I find it such a good match.

Over the past two years, I've been thinking a lot about the language I use when I communicate with my students. The RC approach talks about three kinds of language to use with children: Reinforcing, Reminding, and Redirecting language [for two useful articles, go here and here]. There is a wonderful book that discusses teacher language in great detail: The Power of Our Words by Paula Denton.

Of the 3 R's in teacher language, I think the Reinforcing piece can be one of the hardest of the three to build facility with. I've been thinking about it recently and wondering if it's so difficult because for many teachers it involves breaking old habits. Instead of praising, we're naming specific behaviors and allowing the children to construct their own meaning and self-control with our guidance. We're not saying, "I like the way you're walking in the hallway," which praises and implies that they're trying to please me. We're saying, "Your mouth is quiet and your feet are walking. You're showing respect to the other classes." which names the specific behavior.

Naturally, there are so many more things I could say (and probably will) about teacher language and the Reinforcing piece in particular, but as my mind is really quite stuck on my Lucy Calkins connection from last week, it was with this that I began this blog post and connecting these two teaching elements in my head.

When Lucy Calkins encourages the teacher to Find the good in the classroom... isn't she doing just that? Reinforcing what is already there, allowing children to see that and then guiding them forward. She's naming specific writing behaviors, giving the children information about what is in good writing, not just giving general praise.

Specific feedback is so powerful. It names expectations without any grey areas. There is no guess what the teacher wants, but instead gives the information to everyone. Every student has access to the information they need, instead of just the ones that are good at reading the teacher's mind.

So, while I have copied the quote and taped it to my writing clipboard, I wonder if it's something I should be carrying around all the time, advice that I should be heeding any time I'm talking with a student. No matter how much I relish moments when I'm in front of the whole class being dramatic and engaging, it's the small moments from Writing Workshop, from Reading or Math Work Stations that I treasure the most. For me teaching is, at its very core, the guidance and encouragement of learning.

And isn't that exactly what Lucy Calkins is talking about?

digging in the dirt...

This morning I finished reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. This is the third time I've read it, but only the first time I've finished it. As with all writers that I love (and Kingsolver tops my list), I don't like finishing books because then... well, then they're over. To my mind, if I don't finish the book, then it's not actually done. Strange logic, I know, but it somehow works for me.

After breakfast, I went outside to attack our little sidewalk flower garden. After an April full of showers -- you should see the first grade April weather chart! -- and last week's insane amount of rain, the little garden was definitely worse for the wear, and in need of cleaning, pruning, and weeding. All of these I know very little about and could use a bit of a mentor in this area. It makes me long for my grandfather, who was an accomplished gardener. For now, though, I'm making it up as I go. We'll see how that works out.

As I dug out seed pods that had fallen from the tree above, pulled weeds, and tried to prune off bits of the dianthus plants that seemed spent or too long or just in need of a trim, I encountered bugs and spiders and earthworms (two!). Each of them made me smile, and I admit that I laughed in glee at the first earthworm. As I blundered through the garden I kept thinking: My students need to see this.

I think there is nothing more important in learning about life and life cycles and interdependence than to participate in it.

Now, planting pea seeds in clear cups so we can watch the plant and the roots is a good start. Believe me when I say that there is nothing more resonant than first graders discovering that their plants have popped up above the soil and the roots are growing down!

But, pea seeds in a clear cup inside the classroom don't ever get to interact with worms, and neither do six year olds. I want to build and cultivate a garden with my students. I want them to dig around in the dirt, to turn it, to weed it, to watch things growing above it. I want them to harvest greens and tomatoes and herbs and then make food that we've grown together. This makes me want a modified calendar school so we can be in school during part of the August harvest, or to at least have a garden already going that incoming students can help harvest, knowing that their first grade predecessors made the delicious foods available for them.

How, though?

I first would have to have more knowledge of gardening myself. A good friend of mine introduced me to square foot gardening, which sounds like it would work pretty well. We'd still need to build the frame, acquire soil & compost & seeds, and figure out how to keep it tended during the summer time when we're not in school.

None of these obstacles are insurmountable. In fact, I know it's very possible. I just need to find enough people willing to put in the time with me, to build it into the structure of our school so that it becomes sustainable and not simply a one person job.

Does anyone have experience with gardening at school? How did you/your school make it happen and how did you make it sustainable?

Or... does anyone want to come here and do it with me?

Mr. Putter and Tabby...

On Wednesday, we read Mr. Putter and Tabby Pour the Tea. It's the second book about these two characters that our class has read and I can't say enough about how enjoyable these books are and how much my students love them.

Reading them is a unique experience because they have underlying themes that adults connect with and are so drenched with love that children just adore them.

That afternoon, at the library, eight of my children checked out Mr. Putter and Tabby books. Eight.

Guess it's about time to put a basket of Mr. Putter and Tabby books into our own classroom library...

who's calling the shots?

We're in the midst of cleaning and straightening our house to get ready for Thanksgiving. In my flurry of pile decimation and dust attack, I found this book: Who's Calling the Shots: How to Respond Effectively to Children's Fascination with War Play and War Toys by Nancy Carlsson-Paige and Diane Levin.

I read this book more than ten years ago and found it incredibly helpful in thinking about how to support my students in their dramatic play. I think I'm going to stick it on my bedside table and re-read to see what jumps out at me during this read.

The first time I read it, the biggest thing that stuck with me was giving the children the chance to engage in the war play they were going to do anyway. I'd always thought it made sense to tell the children not to use play guns and always stopped any bomb or gun talk when I heard it. What I remember from this book was the fact that it advocated being there when children were beginning to engage in talk of guns and bombs and shooting in order to ask questions and direct the conversation, ie:

student: Boom! Bang! The bomb just fell on the building!
teacher: Oh no!
student: What?
teacher: What about the people inside? Where is the hospital?

and etc...

This was from a conversation that I actually had with a kindergartner years ago. We ended up using blocks to build a hospital and used a Matchbox car for an ambulance and we made sure to bring the people to the hospital for care. The point I remember from the book, was that often children need someone else to help make the consequences of various things explicit, because they don't always make the connections themselves.

I feel sort of like a fraud, recommending this book that I haven't read in ten years or so, but it was such a helpful guide for me, and I'd hate for it to get lost among all of the books being published now.

Also, I wanted to share this recipe for Play-doh that I found in this book. It remains, hands down, the best play doh I've made in all my years of teaching. It takes a little longer, because you have to cook it, but it is well worth it.

Cooked Play-doh
3 c flour
1 1/2 c salt
2 T cream of tartar
3 T oil
3 c water
(a few drops of food coloring or 1 t tempera paint -- mix this into the water if you want to color the play doh)

Mix ingredients in a large pot and stir over low heat until the mixture starts to thicken like mashed potatoes. Then, remove from the heat, scrape into a bowl or another pan and let it cool. When it's cool enough to touch, knead for a while with your hands. It keeps for a long time in a sealed container.

Enjoy!!

Yardsticks

The eagerness, curiosity, imagination, drive and enthusiasm of the six year old is perhaps never again matched in quantity or intensity during the life span.

~Chip Wood, Yardsticks


I don't know how many of you are familiar with this book, but I highly recommend it. I've owned it for probably ten years; my copy is tattered and falling apart and I really ought to invest in a new copy one day. Every time I pick it up I find something new.

This book details every age level from 4 - 14, and looks at the typical behavior/development in four areas: Physical, Language, Social, and Cognitive. It also looks at curriculum connections and discusses some things you probably *shouldn't* do with that particular age level. It's only about 8 pages per age level, but full of insight. Truly.

I love to share it with families throughout the year to let them see what an interesting age their children are at.

The quote I led off with above? Oh yes. Six year olds are incredible in the way they are pulling everything in and trying to make sense of everything around them. Every age level has its own unique and amazing characteristics, and I love that different people find such pleasure in different age levels. Imagine if every teacher liked only nine year olds? Where would the other age levels be?

I was thinking about some of my students this week and how uniquely six they are and it reminded me of this book. I'll try to recommend some of my other favorites over the next months.

Have a lovely night. ♥